The Last Few Days


So I’ve been pretty quiet the last few days.  The last couple of weeks have been busy going back and forth to Mom’s place and checking on Dad.  Mom made a trip up to PA to visit my brother and his wife and to see my stepbrother and his family.  She had a fabulous time and was well rested when she got home.  Looked great and had stories to tell.  I love stories!

After the backing and forthing, I needed to slow things down a bit and get grounded.  Been working on a daily routine and some morning rituals to get my days off to a gentler start.  Poor Sheila was sick with a stomach virus for about three weeks and had to take a couple days off while it was running its nasty course.  Happy to say she’s feeling much better.

You know how it is when you have holidays on weekdays and the days seem to run together? You forget what day of the week it is?  That’s kinda how things felt. Just a little out of whack. I started a good routine the week before Ma left, and it felt right and was going quite well. Well this last weekend , I was like – ok, you’re gonna chill and enjoy life a bit. And this coming week you’re gonna feed your soul, meditate and get out of the house for some fun.  Well, guess what?  I did! Even better yet was that it was totally guilt free.  I was comfortable in my own skin and actually enjoyed my own company.  Rather stunning to say the least!

Oh sure, I still had some day-to-day stuff that needed doing around the house, but I put on some music or just enjoyed the calm and quiet. It was all good. Took the dog for a ride to the park, and we walked about 3/4 mile. Really tuned in to my surroundings, sights, smells, birds singing.  Listened to my breath sounds. It felt soooooo goood! So totally invigorating. There was no rush. I had a thermos of iced tea and a jar of water for Whiskee. When we got to the car, we both partook. Iced tea tastes super delicious after a long walk on a hot summer day. I took my time in everything.  On purpose.  And felt the quiet joy of each moment.  Savored it. Thought to myself – you know?  I could make a real habit of this!

When we left, I didn’t race home like I usually do when I’m out and about.  I slowed things down. On purpose. Took my time, enjoyed the A/C on full blast, ate some salted sunflower seeds (I’m addicted to them), listened to one of the meditation / mindfulness courses I just bought from Sounds True and was able to fully focus on it. Explaining how the outer world affects our inner world and vice versa. How stress and depression so deeply affect us in mind, body and spirit. And conversely, how meditation and mindfulness can dramatically reduce those and bring on wellness. It’s a matter of intention and attention. Kinda hit home.  And the teachings  still linger, but in a good way.

After we got home, Whiskee and I went for a swim to cool off. Then I toweled him off and got back in the pool. Sunshine and nothin’ but the sounds of the woodpeckers, cardinals, wrens and neighborhood dogs barking. Floating on my back and looking up at the clouds gently movin’ along.  I get lost in clouds.  Could gaze at them forever. There’s swimming and lolling in the pool.  I usually loll. But on this day, I did both. Got rid of some pent-up energy in my body. All good. Breast stroke, butterfly (or attempted butterfly), side stroke.  Waking up muscles I hadn’t used in a long time. Feeling the motions, the water, my breath. On purpose. When I got out, I did it slowly and felt my skin tingle and pop with each drop evaporating on my skin. Sat down in the rockin’ chair and rocked out! Then got right back in the pool! Hit replay a couple times and finally went inside feeling refreshed and utterly relaxed.

On another day, I soaked up in the pool and then sat outside finishing a watercolor I started a while back.  Tried mixing some colors on the pallet, which normally freaks me out, because I need practice and it doesn’t always come out.  But you know what?  I didn’t care what colors I wound up with. That’s what I love about art.  Trees don’t have to be green nor does grass.  They can be purple or red.  It’s whatever we want to make it.  No boundaries. I worked on the background, and enjoyed each brush stroke. No rush. All there in the here and now. When I went into the paints, I looked at each color and let it hit me with whatever emotion it evoked.  The sun was hot, and a droplet of sweat plopped on my canvas.  Who cares?  It’s just a drop of sweat.  What’s the big deal? It’ll blend in with everything else, I said.  And smiled, and smiled, and smiled. Why do we worry so about perfection? In the grand scheme of things, what does it matter?

And, well, yesterday I went to the Florida Native Plant Nursery to explore and investigate native edibles and plants. It was a fun adventure…but that story is for another time 🙂

The main thing is, I got tuned in to the moments and the beauty and sacredness of those moments. Looking forward to many more!

Peace out,

Lis’

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6 thoughts on “The Last Few Days

  1. Lis,

    I’m glad you got a break. Sounds like you made some amazing progress. It’s wonderful what a difference preparing your mind, body and soul each day at the start can make. And Wow! to allow yourself the gift of no perfectionism . . . what a blessing. I thank you so much for sharing your journey. It helps so much to spur me on, to hold a mirror to myself at times, to remember I don’t have to give up and maybe most important that I’m not alone. Walk on girl! 🙂

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    1. Gettin’ there, Bren’!

      Every day’s a surprise, and it’s really important to give yourself a break. I’ve always felt if we gave ourselves as much compassion as we give others, we’d be in such a better place. That double standard, you know?
      That no perfectionism thing will take some time, but being more aware of how good it feels not worrying about it. Being with creativity happening in the now – it’s rich! Transcending.

      We spur each other on and bounce things off one another. That’s sweet! And there’s comfort in reducing the isolation and knowing you’re not alone. That is so important and healing.
      And you’re right. You don’t have to give up at ALL!
      Walk on indeed. . .
      hugs all around yee xoxo

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    1. Jymi,

      That’s what it’s all about. Today it was me, my camera, and the trees. Brought Whiskee along, too. Camera around my neck and holding the leash in the other hand. But we worked it out, with him havin’ plenty of slack on the leash! Even though it was overcast, I was sweating profusely. My glasses and the back of the camera were getting sshhhhmeared in salt. Time to hall out my bandanas!

      Today was a nice, run-on series full of little joy moments. So nice to hear from you . . . really enjoyed your pics from the hiking trek you made w/ your gal pals.

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    1. Hey, Indigo!
      Glad to see you back in virtual reality = ) Been missin’ you somethin’ fierce!
      I’m really trying to balance my time better and factor in much more feeding the soul time. Avoiding making everything a big project I can’t finish, which I have a tendency to do. All about awareness, you know?
      The other thing, as I mentioned, is that I don’t feel such intense guilt about not working. Coming to terms with and working on accepting the bipolar. Not being nearly as tough on myself as I used to. Lots of healing and major adjustments going on!

      Had so much fun out taking pics this afternoon. Getting lost in tree bark, branches, and pondering how the trees are still standing. Savoring the moment and filling my senses. Just so absorbed in taking the photos, feeling the buttons on the camera, listening to the click, click, clickety, click. In the now. Nature is soul, soul AWEsomeness!!

      While we’re waiting to share those moments together, perhaps we can vicariously experience some together on the web. Maybe we can catch up on the phone this week, ok? Would love that!

      big hugs, dear xoxox
      Lissy

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